Sometimes in life you just end up in a “cruise control” phase: nothing huge going on, just kind of taking things day by day and dealing with the “usual” family issues. Then you hit into a massive construction site called “my husband has cancer” and the wheel starts spinning right through your hands while you desperately try to grab a hold of it before you completely crash.
After regrouping, you remind yourself, God’s got this. He does. I don’t have to. And then you start to cruise a little again. Feeling ok. I can do this. Then it hits you, again, “my husband has cancer”. You see him hurting. You see your rock needing to lean on you and anything else around him. All of a sudden you feel like you can’t do this.
Here’s the mistake I made in all of this. Maybe you make this same mistake too. I told myself “God’s got this”. Then I let it go. I didn’t read my bible looking for example after example of how God always has this. I didn’t ask God to show me what He needs me to see in all of this. I just pushed the cruise control button and let out a big sigh of relief.
So I find myself back to day one of finding out my husband has cancer. Today, I will read my bible, looking for His truths to support what I know, God’s got this. Today I will pray specifically for me to see what God wants me to see, learn what God wants me to learn. I will try to remember each day to do these same things. As simple a concept as this seems, I often forget that the true sigh of relief comes with knowing His word, living in His will. Thank God each time we crash, He really does have this.
“Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me…Apart from me you can do nothing.”John 15:4-5