A favorite scripture of mine is Romans 12:9-10: “Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.” (ESV).
This passage fills me with joy! These two verses in combination with the next few are so full of encouraging actions to implement in my daily life and attitudes to build into my heart. I specifically think often about “outdo one another in showing honor.” It sounds like a light-hearted and fun competition. I think about this regularly when my husband does me a very kind favor or makes a sacrifice to make something easier or better for me; this verse makes me smile and think about how now I have a quest to “outdo” him and find something kind I can do for him in return. And not in a competitive way that seeks to be better or more kind/generous to make myself look good, or a transactional way (I’ll only do something kind because he did so first), but in a way that understands God had in mind selfless service between believers when He inspired this scripture.
My friend had her first baby last year and still thanks us for bringing them several meals during the first weeks, always following her thanks by saying how she wants to bring us a bunch of meals when we have our own baby. Not because she wants to be the better postpartum support, but because she felt gratitude from that kindness and wants to show it in return. And then of course I’ll want to bring more meals for her next baby and so on until we’re both just spoiled… 🙂
Not always does this “honor” refer to honoring someone through kindness or help, but in many ways, such as showing honor by choosing to seek understanding instead of judging; showing patience when someone makes a mistake; offering forgiveness when hurt; apologizing first after an argument; commending people on their hard work when you notice it; standing up for others; paying attention to things others do behind the scenes and encouraging them in their efforts. The list could just go on and on and on.
This exhortation to “outdo one another in showing honor” follows another that tells us to “love one another with brotherly affection”. They are so closely related! The latter likely springs from the former—if I seek to love other believers, especially those close to me like my spouse, family, friends, and any I am ministering to, I’m bound to find opportunities to use that brotherly affection to honor them. Like making nice meals for friends in need or giving up some of my free time to do some of my husband’s typical tasks to give him a break on a busy day. And if those people are Christians as well, my attempts to bless might come back to me as they seek to “outdo” me in showing honor! Furthermore, the passage begins with the encouragement to “let love be genuine.” Don’t seek to show kindness or honor to others if it comes from a place of selfishness, like wanting to look good to others or with the hopes of receiving something in return. We should seek to show honor to others because God has sown a love for others in our heart first, particularly those close to us or those we have everyday relationships with! When we want to serve others or want to serve God (which we do through serving others), our hearts and intentions have become properly aligned with this genuineness God asks of us when showing love to others.
So, then this passage becomes an exciting challenge; we can look for ways to “outdo” one another in showing honor and enjoy the fruits that come from blessing those around us and sharing brotherly affection among fellow believers. Of course, God maybe didn’t quite mean to create a competition-like goal from this verse, but Paul’s choice of wording here with “outdo” must’ve had some sort of intent behind it—I imagine he was writing with the intent to imply that light-hearted, friendly and selfless kind of endless cycle of giving to each other and further giving in return. We tend to feel the desire to bless when we feel blessed ourselves: when we have an attitude of knowing that “I’m blessed simply because I know Jesus,” this verse might become more accessible. When we don’t expect anything in return, when we receive honor from others, it’s even sweeter. Then the gratefulness we experience afterwards drives us to return blessing to them, which then likely drives them in gratefulness to bless us. So begins the most positive “competition” there is!
Leave a Reply