My husband, Sean and I are considered the “sandwich generation”. Our children still require assistance and guidance in their schoolwork, we are involved in their boy scouts, sports teams, youth group, etc. And…we drive them there. Our parents range from 75 to late 80’s so we are assisting them when needed. Recently, my father-in-law suffered a severe infection with complications resulting in his being in and out of the hospital, a step-down rehab facility and finally, trying to regain independence in his own home which is becoming increasingly difficult.
I decided that the boys and I were going to attack the house, one room at a time, and declutter, donate, trash–whatever works– to minimize the amount of ‘stuff’ we have and really do not need. The boys have surprised me in their ability to ‘let go’ of some things that I would have thought had some emotional significance. I, on the other hand, had a very hard time when we began transforming our younger boys’ room into a middle-schooler/ teen room.
Unfortunately, while I was busy being blown away from the excitement and opportunities available to my son, he was busy being overwhelmed at the thought of having to decide his “career path” at the age of 14. I was just so excited for him, as was my husband, that we assumed he was as fired up as we were. We realized quickly that he was starting to internally freak out because, at the ripe old age of 14, he didn’t know what he wanted to be when he grew up! Thankfully, he is blessed with a mother who also doesn’t know what she wants to be when she grows up either.
Recently our middle son confided in Sean and me that he is not entirely sure God exists. With all that is going wrong in the world, he doesn’t really “see God”. We talked about it a bit and we explained where we see God working, namely in the healing of Sean’s father (his grandfather), along with a few other life events. Here’s the thing: my middle son, Henry, has high function autism spectrum disorder. He sees black and white. He needs tangible proof and will question you until the cows come home. He is also darn smart so there is typically some practicality to his arguments.
I’ve been up a lot at night lately, sometimes in the middle of the night; or wide awake at 4:30 AM. This is not usual for me. I like my sleep and if you ask my husband, he’ll tell you one of my favorite things to do is nap. My worries are getting bigger than I can ‘handle’. And, outside of the occasional occurrence of getting lost in a good book, the fact is that it’s my worries keeping me up