I have always enjoyed crafting and spending time just working with my hands, not having to solve the problems of the world– or at least the problems of my world. I truly enjoy crafting and generally my items turn out above average, something that I take some pride in (as you can tell).
I belong and have belonged to a couple of Christian women’s groups in different stages in my life. I have very fond memories of one group in particular: MOPS, Mothers of Preschoolers. This group would bring in caretakers who would take care of my children while I got to talk, listen, learn and sometimes craft with other women. And get this: we wouldn’t be interrupted for two straight hours. Unheard of! One specific day we did a craft and the craft on this day was decorating terra cotta pots. We all spent some time painting and decorating these flower pots, as we chatted away, like I said, uninterrupted by our little cherubs. This was the best kind of crafting; nothing too over-the-top and difficult. This is the kind of craft where every piece was unique and every pot created looked great, a no-fail kind of craft.
The next part of this activity unnerved me, a lot! We put our pots into cute little canvas bags and we than had to drop this bag filled with the pot: the pot that we spent love, time and energy (blood, sweat and tears) on, onto the floor. Ok, so that’s a little dramatic, but we all loved our creations and it was difficult to turn around and hurt them by dropping them on the floor–not onto a plush carpeted floor, but linoleum. These flower pots that we spent a good half hour shaping into our masterpiece would be smashed to pieces. Some women picked up the bag filled with the pot and dropped it over and over again. I was not so eager to break “MY” masterpiece. I dropped it once and it broke into mostly large pieces- easy for me to put back together. And it wouldn’t take too long. Just the way I like it, a quick and easy cleanup!
As you can tell, I like easy. But life is just not easy, especially in my world. I’ve been in a broken marriage for years. Whenever there is a prayer request, I’m praying for my husband and our marriage. For years! Years! When I’m saying years, I’m talking at least 12 years.
Yes, I know, it was at least 20 years after He promised, that God gave Sarah and Abraham a baby. I get it, but living it is different from just reading about it. It’s different when it’s me going through this. I’m not Abraham or Moses, I’m just little ole’ me in a little town with not much to add to the conversation.
My life, as this pot, and my heart have been broken over and over again; dropped several times; broken into teeny, tiny itty, bitty, little shards that no one on this earth is able to fix in a neat and tidy package. God wants me to see that He can take my broken world, my broken pot, and piece it together so that His light shines through; even when the pieces are so small they look like pieces of dust. My life is something only our Lord Jesus can fix AND He can and will use it for good. I have more joy and love in my life now than I ever had. It’s not natural. It’s not normal. It’s not of this world. It can only be explained by knowing my Lord Jesus Christ and having the Holy Spirit with me daily. His ways are so much better than anything I could ever plan.
God has not answered my prayers the way I want them answered, not at all. He’s not wrapping my broken world up in a neat and tidy bow. It hasn’t been quick and easy, putting big pieces back together. But here’s the thing: living in this messy, awful situation, I am learning how to rely solely on Him for my worth, my joy, my everything. I’m learning that life is not neat and tidy, for anyone. I’m learning that God is in control and it’s awesome to watch circumstances work out for the good. I know that God’s got a hand in that (He’s in control), so it can only be a “God thing!”
Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Really all of Psalm 34!
Roman 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
Great memories sharing MOPS w you as well Amy! Thank you for your gift of vulnerability which we can all gain from!