This pandemic is–enter any adjective you want here, like crazy, scary, lonely & isolating, to name just a few. Don’t get me wrong, of course we often look at the good side of this… many of us have been able to paint rooms, clean out closets or basements, worked out a little longer or actually just worked out, played games with our kids and had extra time to do something we’ve been wanting to do that we just could never find the time for. But many of us are lonely.

If Jesus came back today how would you react? Would you be prepared or would you be running around trying to gather oil or get your cleats on? Would you be like most trying to push it off to another day? 

I am grateful that I know our Lord who plucks me out of my pit.  “He lifted me out of the mud” and gave me a “new song”.  I am a child of God and He fights my battles.  He pulled, lifted, tugged and sometimes dragged me out of the pit to put me in a better place, a sturdy place, on a rock and not on sinking sand. I know that I can visit that pit that was my home for a long time and I can ask God to lift me out and leave it behind. 

picture yourself driving; the front window is large so that you can see where you’re going, but you look in the small review mirror often for shorter amounts of time. It helps to keep you safe to get to your destination.  I love that visual. If you stare in the review mirror for an extended period of time you might crash or have to pull over because you can’t drive forward staring backwards.

This more recent flight was different; it was extremely windy, we had a few bumps, but not the amount of turbulence I would have thought. As we got close to our destination, the captain came on the speaker to tell us we would be having turbulence on our way down to land. He also told the staff to take a seat, it would be bumpier than they were used to as well. Landings are difficult for me, but as we prayerfully descended I was feeling such peace that I just don’t usually have at that point. I was relieved because we were about to touch down and this feeling of relief was starting to flood through my body. But then we weren’t. We were not touching down. We were not slowing down. We were speeding up. We were lifting up. We were going higher and higher. You could hear a pin drop on this fully filled flight. The babies weren’t even crying, singing or yelling. It was quiet. Everyone was scared.

With that in mind, I have been questioning why all of this is happening. I’m questioning God. I know that God can handle my questions, but I need to find the answers. I know that God is who He says He is. I know He can do what He says He can do. But do I really believe that when things get really scary? Do I believe that He will show up? Can I really put the fate of my children in God’s hands? Can I put all my earthly treasures and possessions in God’s hands? I know these treasures on earth are not the important things, but once my mind starts down this path, I just kept on questioning, spinning out of control. Can I trust that God is going to show up? He has so many times before, yet I am questioning if he’ll show up for me again, or have I used up all my favors? I am scared!