Dad is all of these things and yet not really – not anymore. He has Alzheimer’s Disease. I write to remember him, though he hasn’t yet departed from this world. I catch his glance and see a light of recognition and love for me in his smile, yet it’s challenging to recognize him there; the dad that I remember and expect is leaving us, steadily.

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After years of doting on little ones’ care, I’m now caring for my soon-to-be 97-year-old mama who came to live with us in Georgia. She is an amazing woman who has lived through much.

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When I was in medical school, I used to say that if medicine were put to music, I would have no trouble memorizing any of it. There is something about music that helps me recall the text. I find this so often with old hymns that are full of scripture, or that just state biblical truths.

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Is it just me, or is the idea that Jesus loves us just baffling? For the vast majority of my walk as a Christian, my confidence in God’s love was, frankly, suspended. How do you trust something that simply doesn’t make sense?

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This month I finally got around to watching the TV series The Chosen, which got a lot of attention when quarantine began last year. It’s an immensely detailed and well-thought-out series based on the life and teachings of Jesus Christ, and I wasn’t sure how great it’d be until I watched it! There was something that struck me particularly deeply in episode 6. The character Nicodemus (who is canonically in the Bible) is troubled by John the Baptist’s arrival and his possible connections to prophecies of the Torah.

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In his letters, Paul consistently teaches us what it means to be conformed to Christ.  Particularly in Philippians 1:18-21, he points out that it is his blessing to suffer, that the gospel is going to gain from it, and Christ will be glorified, even if Paul dies doing the work. How does suffering, humiliation, and death create something positive and glorifying to God?

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