Recently I have been experiencing this overwhelming feeling of never being enough. Not a present enough mom for my three young adult children – a senior in high school, a junior in college, and a new college grad. Not enough of a support for my husband who works long hours providing for our family. Not helpful enough to my in-laws are struggling with aging, particularly staying safe in their home. Not timely enough in keeping up at work. Not to mention not thin enough, young enough, or energetic enough.
Maybe I am not alone in my feelings of not-enoughness? No matter what stage of life we are in the world throws these messages our way. Just this morning my workout video told me “You can be more. You can do more.” And I wanted to holler back, “No really, I can’t. I am tapped out. I don’t have any more to give.”
God, however, tells us something completely different. He has reminded me of his words through a song- a song from many years ago when my children were in Vacation Bible School. The chorus keeps running through my mind the last few weeks – “Five and two, come take a look.” The children were studying the story of Jesus feeding the five thousand. In this story found in John 6:1-14 and Matthew 14:13-21, Andrew questions, “Here is a boy with five small barley loaves and two small fish, but how far will they go among so many?” I can totally relate to Andrew as I often focus on the limitation of my resources – my limited time, energy, and money. But Jesus, well, He knows better. He knows that when we bring all we have and offer it to him, He will make it enough. He accepted the young boy’s offering of the five little loaves of bread and the two little fish and somehow made it enough for five thousand. In fact, there were leftovers (Matthew 14:20, John 6:13).
I still struggle with this feeling of not-enoughness, however I hear God’s voice. I know He is saying to me – bring whatever you have today, give it all to me, and I will work the miracle. Most importantly remember to “Come take a look.” Look for my miracle. Don’t be so concerned with moving on to the next thing on your list that you miss those small everyday miracles – the way my kid’s learn a new life lesson when they are forced to do something on their own, or the way God shapes our character when we are forced to be patient and wait, or perhaps the way I learn that some things are not so important after all. What is important is my focus. Will I focus on my limited resources? Or will I stop long enough to come and take a look at what God is doing with the little bit I have to bring?