When I was in college, I spent some time working on becoming a Bible study leader through my campus fellowship. At some point, I realized I had become rather legalistic in my faith, kind of focusing first on if I was “believing the right way” or basically doing everything right. And while yes, we should strive to always do the right thing based on what Jesus calls us to do in His word, I was getting stuck in tiny decisions, doubting my ability to understand scripture at all, getting judgy of others’ faith walks, and generally always feeling anxious about walking in faith rightly. I felt more developed in my faith than I had ever felt due to how much I was learning about the Bible, but I had a sense that I wasn’t communing with God quite the way He desired me to.
My turning point came when I heard the topic of being a friend of God preached on. I had heard of this concept before but that was it–and it turns out it was what I needed in that season to really find the closeness to God I felt I was missing. Isaiah 41:8 references Abraham as being God’s friend, and James also mentions this in the New Testament (James 2:23). Abraham’s faith and obedience, famously remembered through the book of Genesis as he left his home, trusted God’s promise of a son in his old age, and the near-sacrifice of his son Isaac, was what these passages and the reference from James explain as the qualities that led Abraham to such a title. The words from Isaiah can be translated as “Abraham who loved Me”. I became so interested in this concept and looked around the Bible for more about it, and asked God what it might look like to be a friend of His in this day and age (since I knew it wasn’t likely I’d be challenged to show the same level of faith and obedience as Abraham was!).
What this lesson turned into was a re-writing of the do-everything-right faith I was starting to acquire: the crux of being God’s friend was stated by the Lord Himself (Isaiah 41:8) as loving Him. And it isn’t the first time loving God has been expressed as the most important focus–Jesus answered the Pharisees’ question about the greatest commandment with a reference to Deuteronomy 6:4-5 (NIV), which reads, “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one! Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.” This convicted me so many times that if my foundation for my life was a simple love for God–His character, His gift of saving grace through Christ, His revealed word, His creation, and His everyday mercies and love for us–the good and right faith and obedience I had been working to achieve will follow naturally, without the anxiety, judgement, and self-criticism. When I started to pray about the little things (thanking him for the beautiful weather, a chance to get coffee with a friend, etc.), in addition to the more purposeful worship and prayer focused on scripture, I started to see God more and more in the moment by moment. I started talking to God more like I would to a friend, naturally mentioning my worries and excitements to Him on my walks to class instead of just zoning out. I’d think of God when something wonderful happened, or I found myself really enjoying whatever I was doing, naturally thanking Him for these day-to-day experiences. My relationship with Him had truly begun to feel like a friendship as I had always understood the term, and I experienced that closeness I had felt was missing. And it truly did fill in the blanks of faith: my increasing love for God drove me to serve the church in new ways, bring the Word into conversations more often, love my friends and family better; it made me
more attuned to what God was trying to teach and communicate to me in various settings. It was such a sweet change to make.
The challenge when wondering how to deepen your friendship with God isn’t even a challenge, really; it’s just to think about how you might interact with a friend every day, and do so with God. Pray about the current happenings in life over coffee instead of meeting a friend. Just “chat” with God about something you’ve been pondering while doing a chore. Thank God out loud often for the little things like a delicious meal, a fun day with family, the smells of spring, the way something worked out just right. These are such small practices, but with intentional effort they can truly deepen the friendship you have with God. It doesn’t all have to come from your quiet time in the Word and Sunday service. God wants to meet us in our everyday moments.
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