What is it about venting that feels so delicious sometimes? Today was a rough day at work. The students are ready for school to be over and they are acting like I’m the warden preventing them from getting sunshine. I have tried to find a way to keep it together while I’m still in school but once that bell rings I can’t wait to vent to my co-workers. And what’s even worse, I don’t want them to “talk me off the cliff,” I want them to join in with me and share in my frustration. Please don’t even consider trying to fix it.
This type of venting has become so commonplace I don’t think I even consider if it’s right or wrong. However, something touched me this week. Is venting biblical? The definition of venting we commonly use is to give free expression to a strong emotion, but the original definition is providing an outlet for air, gas or liquid. Meaning, your space is so contaminated that you need to essentially perforate that space to get bad air out. On a human level we can reframe it like this: our insides are so full of vitriol, anger, jealousy, fear, or doubt that we have to open our mouths and release that on another person–often without any hope of the clean air coming in but just the dirty air going out. Is this a picture of Christian living?
This thought has been plaguing me over the past couple of weeks as the Holy Spirit has been trying to get me to repent of my venting heart and tongue. Whenever I’m in this turmoil I turn to the Bible to try to hear the truth. Much to my chagrin, there is an abundant supply of verses that explain how this isn’t godly behavior.
I can’t give you all of them but let’s start in Matthew 5:21-22, where Jesus states that if you’re angry with a brother or sister you will be subject to judgement. Here the desire to vent the anger starts with an angry heart aimed against someone. Paul follows up by stating in Ephesians 4:29, Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen (NIV). When I’m wringing my hands impatiently waiting for the moment I’m alone with my co-workers, I’m falling into the trap and letting the devil get a foothold. If I’m being honest with myself, I’m behaving like Cain when his offering wasn’t given favor and God warned that sin was going to be crouching at his door (see Genesis 4:2b-7). Sin is hiding and waiting for us to fall into the trap over and over again. Realistically, I know I will struggle with this because every day is not great and I actually strive for it to be great. I look forward to work. I bring the students fruit or snacks and I show up happy and am ready to laugh; so when they aren’t, it feels like a massive let- down. I feel justified in my anger because I tried so very hard to “be good” to them and they weren’t good to me. Sometimes, I AM justified in my anger. The kids were not properly responding to what they needed to do and there was nobody there to follow up when they weren’t listening to me. Or maybe I was undermined. I don’t want to say it doesn’t matter. But I do know that God doesn’t want me sinning just because I perceive that someone else has. In the end I need to focus on one of the most positive and loving verses Paul gave to the Philippian church: Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things (Philippians 4:8).
Turn your heart toward Jesus in all things.
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