My version of the story was idyllic and cobbled together with denial. The truth, however, was that the pain inside me had never left. The shame over all I had done was a heavy burden that I held deep. And being a Christian did not make me immune to addiction. I was profoundly sick and doing quite a job of keeping it a secret.

So many questions and fears with no easy answers, and we can struggle to get through each day in the face of these unknowns. I have wrestled with my own questions and disappointments throughout this year, but did my best to hold onto the truths that I already do know. God has given us an immeasurable gift in His Word.

We had crossed the country for a wedding. When the radiant bride walked down the aisle, with our daughter as her flower girl, I was in the operating room. The disappointment of missing that family event was, at the time, eclipsed by what was happening to us.

We had crossed the country for a wedding. When the radiant bride walked down the aisle, with our daughter as her flower girl, I was in the operating room. The disappointment of missing that family event was, at the time, eclipsed by what was happening to us.

I am currently parenting my youngest child through the middle school years, which I think we can agree are maybe not the most fun. There’s a lot of emotions and hormones running the brains of middle schoolers, as they start seeking more independence and making dubious friend choices. There’s a lot of teeth-gritting on my part as I remind myself that my other two kids survived these years, and that we will muddle through somehow.

There’s a Trisha Yearwood song from many years ago titled, The Song Remembers When. It’s a favorite of mine, as it talks about how connected music is to our life experiences. God created our amazing brains that attach memories to our senses.