And he said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” Job 1:21
Fifteen years ago I had a miscarriage. It was heartbreaking and physically very difficult. Miscarriage is a strange thing, because women tend to blame themselves, feeling guilty or ashamed, when in most cases it isn’t their fault. Often women also keep their loss a secret, for many different and personal reasons. I got a variety of reactions from other people, from quiet sympathy, to understanding hugs, to complete avoidance. I can understand this. It is a strange and difficult thing to belong to, this miscarriage club. It was terrible but God sustained me, and He used it to grow my faith and stretch me in amazing ways. Psalm 34:18 says that the Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit, and for me this was the most true during that time. Only God could have given me that true comfort, and brought something good out of this.
For me, I realized that I needed to talk about what had happened to me and my husband. I found it therapeutic to share the story. I wrote about it, and I talked to other women and men about their losses. God led me into a ministry for several years that ministered to others who had experienced pregnancy loss, and I found great comfort and even joy there. Helping others gets us outside of ourselves and a shared burden is lighter.
October is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month, and every year I reflect on all that God has done to bless my family since our loss. I pray that other couples would be filled with the same peace that God has given us. I would encourage anyone who has lost a pregnancy to talk to someone about it, and find solace in knowing that God wants to comfort you, and that there are many others who understand. God tells us in Psalm 46:1 that He is our refuge and strength. My heart feels like this verse could have been written specifically for pregnancy loss, because I remember how much I needed His safe place and His strong arms to get through. Embrace the knowledge that Jesus didn’t leave you during this difficult time and let His Word and His presence fill you up.