I had never given much thought to how close Heaven was or how “seen” we are by our loved ones that have passed until I lost my husband. When he died this last year, I devoured every book, article, and blog that I could get my hands on that would describe Heaven and what my husband was experiencing.
I was searching for any article or passage that would give me comfort. I scoured the Bible for verses that described what our relationship would be like once I join him someday and I wanted so desperately to have a crystal clear image of what I should expect.
A year and a week after he’s passed, I can’t say that I have come much closer to the answers to my questions, but I have discovered something even more valuable: peace. I have peace in the fact that there is a Heaven that is too great for our minds to comprehend. I have peace that my husband is experiencing an indescribable joy in the presence of Jesus and I have peace in the belief that he is with our loved ones in Heaven, fully cognizant of who they are and that their relationships are even stronger than they were on Earth.
One of my favorite discoveries from this past year and all of my readings, has been the different scriptures that assure us that our loved ones will recognize us and know us as soon as we get to Heaven. That is such a beautiful thought to me. I can’t wait to run through those gates and be embraced by my husband, our lost babies, our grandparents, friends, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, siblings, pets, etc. Most of all, I can’t wait to be embraced by the arms of Jesus. I can’t wait to see His face, hear His voice and have the calming sense of peace wash over me that lets me know that I’m finally home.
If you’ve read any of my other blogs, you might remember that my husband, Scott, and I struggled with infertility from the beginning of our marriage. We had just completed the second round of IVF when Scott had his heart attack and died. I went back to our clinic 6 months after he passed and successfully transferred the first of our 2 frozen embryos. I am now 7 months pregnant with our son which is a miracle I can’t begin to put into words.
A friend of mine sent me a post the other day that helped me imagine the veil between Heaven and Earth in a much clearer sense. This post described the world of a baby in the womb. They know nothing beyond their womb. They have no clue that they are just inches away from a whole new world. A world where there are so many people waiting so eagerly for them to arrive so we can see their face and hold them and love them and start this next phase of life together. They are being cared for and nourished and completely supported by their mother’s body, but have no clue.
This beautiful realization has stuck with me. What if Heaven and our loved ones are just “inches” away, too? What if they are nourishing us, caring for us, and eagerly awaiting our arrival so we can start this next phase of life together? That has been very comforting for me this past week, as I passed the year mark of the greatest loss of my life. I can just imagine myself as the infant–totally unaware of all of the beautiful things just on the other side. Our son has no clue how loved he already is and how ready for his presence I am. He even has a room completely prepared for him, with every comfort I could think of to make his life here as wonderful as possible. I couldn’t help but think of John 14:3, where Jesus talks about going and preparing a room, or a place, for us.
My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.” (John 14:2-3, NIV)
There are so many unknowns in life and to me, death and Heaven is the biggest mystery of them all. I am so grateful for peace that surpasses understanding and for the promise of eternal life with our loved ones in a place that is whole and happy and free of sorrow and pain and loss.