I’ve witnessed family conflict over a multitude of issues and I’m certain I’m not alone.  The fracture of relationships over our opinions, views, etc. is a disturbing thing to observe.  Don’t get me started on social media. Sites that were created as a resource for educational Covid policies have become grounds for verbal warfare. Before I go further with this, NO, this is not a post about politics, right vs. left, ethnicity, what branch of Christianity you follow, etc.  This is about grace or better yet, living our faith rather than just talking about it to, or at, others. The past several months have presented many opportunities for personal growth.

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My husband wanted to teach our six-year-old grandson a simple praise chorus on a recent car trip. He sang the song, then asked our grandson to try to sing along. “Can I just lip-sync it?” our grandson asked.

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The mind is a working marvel and miracle of complexity, isn’t it? Have you ever just taken a moment to watch a toddler play? Or be amazed at how many brain functions are happening at one moment, ultimately allowing you to perform a certain task? How about the ability to laugh at one moment and minutes later feel sorrow or empathy or anger? It’s astounding. We can give our Creator thanks for this! 

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Have you ever gone into the store for one thing and come out with something completely different?  You go in for clothes and come out with a new set of dishes (relax, they were on clearance).  Or you make a quick stop for milk and come out with 4 half-gallons of ice cream?  This happens to me all the time, and not just at Target.  In my defense, some of the things I have purchased this way have become favorites. 

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Indulge me with a moment of honesty. Personally, I’m quite over this pandemic. I’ve had enough. I don’t want to socially distance any more. I want to hug my friends, sit right next to them in church and invite as many people as I like over to my home. I’m ready to go shopping without constantly sanitising my hands and registering my attendance. I want to go back to normal!

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My version of the story was idyllic and cobbled together with denial. The truth, however, was that the pain inside me had never left. The shame over all I had done was a heavy burden that I held deep. And being a Christian did not make me immune to addiction. I was profoundly sick and doing quite a job of keeping it a secret.

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